Readily Frozen...

I feel frozen today. I am aware that I exist but there is nothing drawing me to a conclusive 'here' or 'there'. I just am. It is making me oddly aware of my human vulnerability; my frailness. That without God, I am nothing. I am acutely thankful for His presence in my life. No- not just his presence; He IS my life. Apart from Him and the warmth of His matchless love, I am cold and dead. It is a miracle to me, and it brings my to my knees... I am not alone and I am alive; vibrantly alive with a cornucopia of colors and sounds..... life. HIS life. There is no other way for me - now that I know, now that I have seen - there is no other.

Who am I? Where am I going? What am I here for? What am I doing?
Of course: I am a daughter of God, the High King and Father of life. I am going forward in Him and eventually on into Heaven. I am here for Him- to fulfill His bidding for my life and the expansion plans of His eternal kingdom. The question of questions is, WHAT am I doing? I feel I could be doing so much more and I know the things and places my heart desires to go: missions, equipping young adults for the Adventure that God is, marriage and babies.

SO, here I sit - On Sunday alone (not alone) in my apartment listening to the sounds of life bubbling outside my porch door: children playing, cars passing, trees rustling, breeze blowing.

Does the Lord approve? Of where I am at on this road- my road? Am I at the right spot, fulfilling today's purpose? Am I? Will I be tomorrow? I pray and reflect and do what I think is right, with what I am able.I have spent so much time this past year surviving and I know - can feel - that I am transitioning into THRIVING. Thus, the things on my mind and the way I feel ensue. As my spirit and mind move back into thriving (a much more desirable position)- are my day to day activities and focuses following properly in suite??

Eternity is beckoning me forward again and it makes me eager... my job...my duties... I must not allow the idea that they are mundane seep in. God knows and I fight to keep myself not only in His will, but in His time-line.