The End.

My spirit is wild with anticipation for the Lord today... I can't deny his Word a minute longer...

(Written right before reading the final chapters in the Book of Daniel. I have been reading through it slowly over the last month... trying to soak it in. After reading it, I was overwhelmed, literally by profound sight... I was thrown to my face in adoration and pleading for the end of days... the following is my journal entry about it)

I have been shaken like no other.

For the first time (that I can recall) in my 28 years of living, I was hit like a ton of bricks in regard to the profoundness of the end of this age: the end of this material and miraculously crafted world of humans. All of the implications of the end and even the end of my one mere life in particular have struck a large resounding chord within my mind's eye and my spirit - I am beside myself.

Everyone around me will face their end. Most will face it without concern of what that means.

I have always believed easily and retorted easily that my days here may be numbered but I live without fear because eternity exists beyond the material confines of this life. This belief came easily perhaps because of the faith I was born into and blessed to have been surrounded by my whole life so far. I've truly believed ever since I can remember. There was never a question or a battle in my mind in regard to the afterlife or if there is one. Sure, I have thought about it theologically and rationally, but never have I doubted it.

Therefore, it took 28 years for it's PROFOUND IMPLICATIONS to really hit me with the full force of it's veracity. The reality of this is like a movie in my mind... I can see it's fruition and it's power and what that means for us, for me NOW.

I see and feel deeply the new power and vitality behind the words I have spoken my whole life: without the promise of an eternity with Christ and God, there is NO sense in even attempting to live this one life on Earth. If our destiny is only that there is no destiny and we are to die and our spirits, our light, is only to be snuffed out and burned up - just like our bodies, laid down to dust and nothing more, then what is the point of living in this tough and ragged world for a measly 100 years (if we are that lucky) or less??

Therein lies EVERYTHING behind my faith. ALL would be futile without the reality of that one most important promise: God exists beyond the time constraints of this universe and purposes to take our light of life with Him beyond the existence of this atom-based universe. My spirit is to go on, not to be snuffed out like I am a purposeless, happen-chance entity. HOW AWFUL IT WOULD BE WITHOUT THIS PROMISE.

Yes, all will come to an end and furthermore, a day will come when the chance to be born into this universe will end.

Crazy... it makes it hard to just sit and watch people walk around... a man just walked by my window and my spirit is aching for him... and everyone else I can see going to and fro.... do they know? Oh Lord!!!!! Don't let us be like mindless animals unaware of our purpose and our end!! Oh God, be true and let your promise be true! I know you are... save us, draw us!

Hence our, MY, secondary purpose..... telling people!!

YOU ARE created and chosen into this life, not random- for an eternal and divine existence with God ... and the entrance, the Keys to His Kingdom, lie in the hands of the Prince of Peace and Salvation..... Jesus. Call on Jesus and believe the promise that is stored up for you by the hands of the One who purposed to create you!!

Readily Frozen...

I feel frozen today. I am aware that I exist but there is nothing drawing me to a conclusive 'here' or 'there'. I just am. It is making me oddly aware of my human vulnerability; my frailness. That without God, I am nothing. I am acutely thankful for His presence in my life. No- not just his presence; He IS my life. Apart from Him and the warmth of His matchless love, I am cold and dead. It is a miracle to me, and it brings my to my knees... I am not alone and I am alive; vibrantly alive with a cornucopia of colors and sounds..... life. HIS life. There is no other way for me - now that I know, now that I have seen - there is no other.

Who am I? Where am I going? What am I here for? What am I doing?
Of course: I am a daughter of God, the High King and Father of life. I am going forward in Him and eventually on into Heaven. I am here for Him- to fulfill His bidding for my life and the expansion plans of His eternal kingdom. The question of questions is, WHAT am I doing? I feel I could be doing so much more and I know the things and places my heart desires to go: missions, equipping young adults for the Adventure that God is, marriage and babies.

SO, here I sit - On Sunday alone (not alone) in my apartment listening to the sounds of life bubbling outside my porch door: children playing, cars passing, trees rustling, breeze blowing.

Does the Lord approve? Of where I am at on this road- my road? Am I at the right spot, fulfilling today's purpose? Am I? Will I be tomorrow? I pray and reflect and do what I think is right, with what I am able.I have spent so much time this past year surviving and I know - can feel - that I am transitioning into THRIVING. Thus, the things on my mind and the way I feel ensue. As my spirit and mind move back into thriving (a much more desirable position)- are my day to day activities and focuses following properly in suite??

Eternity is beckoning me forward again and it makes me eager... my job...my duties... I must not allow the idea that they are mundane seep in. God knows and I fight to keep myself not only in His will, but in His time-line.